The Spider Coliseum

 

When I was in the seventh grade I walked to school, even though the bus stopped right by my house. It was an embarrassment to take the bus back then. Dweebs took the bus, everyone knew that. We lived in Portland, where it rained all the time, so shunning the bus was ridiculous, as ridiculous as the kids I see now in my mountain home walking through the freezing air in t-shirts. 

Walking to school got us there at various times, and because our teachers would keep the building locked until 8:35, we’d all have to stand outside, wet and cold much of the time. But it was worth it, because my friends were on different bus routes, and we had different home room classes with different teachers, so we never saw each other, except for a few minutes during recess. 

Showing up early was our coffee break.

 

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Alas, Aquaman

A few days ago, my old friend Scott Rogers and I got into it over the new Superman vs Batman movie, and I ended up telling him that I hated him and that he was Aquaman to me. His reply was quick and pointed. He said that he thought I looked a lot like Aquaman. 

That can hardly be true. Right?

I drew this little sketch on my iPad. Boom!

Old Photos

I was going through old file directories, trying to organize photos and so forth, and I came across this picture from a few years back. I think I took it with the eyesight camera on the iMac, so it didn't make its way into the public. Well, anyway, they are not those little kids anymore.

The Boy Amazes Me

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The other night Ike was moping around the house. Alisa and I started talking to him, and before too long we discovered that he was feeling the blahs. I am an oldest child, and Alisa is almost an oldest child (not sure how birth order fits into a large family like hers), so we don't have a lot of insight into the life of a quintessential middle child.

What Ike was saying about his feelings made me think about an old A A Milne poem from When We Were Very Young called "Halfway Down." I read him the poem, which, if you don't know it, goes like this:

Halfway down the stairs
is a stair
where i sit.
there isn't any
other stair
quite like
it.
i'm not at the bottom,
i'm not at the top;
so this is the stair
where
I always
stop.

Halfway up the stairs
Isn't up
And it isn't down.
It isn't in the nursery,
It isn't in town.
And all sorts of funny thoughts
Run round my head.
It isn't really
Anywhere!
It's somewhere else
Instead!

After listening to the poem and to me and Alisa tell him about how maybe halfway didn't have to be stairs but it could also mean being the middle child, which was an important and unique position in our family, Ike opened up his iPad and drew this:

He said, "I'm just a little bit below halfway down."

First off, this is heartbreaking. Second, it's just a little bit brilliant. 

I'm not sure what to do with the boy, but I know that I want him to hold on to this part of himself, it's sad and beautiful and wonderful and not at all what regular folks look for in their lives. I think his melancholy is going to give him amazing insights. I also worry that our culture is going to want to medicate him at some point.

I should say that I don't think he's depressed, not in a clinical sense. I think he's emotionally sensitive: a feeler. He's sharp, perceptive, focused, observant. He has an amazing memory for detail, and he's downright hilarious.

 

A Gift

During the last few days I've been awash in opportunities that could be really cool, but they will also take a lot of time. I've also been noticing that many of my friends suffer from the same problem I do: can't say no.

This has led me to dust off an old project of mine called The Decide-A-Tron. It's a decision tree that helps me separate out the good stuff from the can't-do stuff. I'd like to spruce up the design and print it on nice paper at some point, but here's the revised process as it stands.

Let me know if it helps. I used it today on something.

P.S. Here's a link to a file you can print. 

Daweena

This weekend we had a freak snow storm. The Ute Indians call it a daweena: the last snow of the season. It started raining pretty heavily about 9:30 on Saturday night, complete with thunder and lightning. I got up around 2:30 to go to the bathroom and noticed that the power was off. I checked again at around 5:30. Still no power. At this point I went to the window and checked on the situation. Snow everywhere.

This is when I heard the first pop. It was like .22 gunfire. I looked out the window and a huge branch dropped in a swirl of snow crystals. A few minutes later this happened again. Then again.

I got dressed and went outside. The whole place was divested. I got our fruit picker and shook as much snow out of the trees as I could, but I couldn't save the branches that were twenty-forty feet up.

By the next day, the snow was mostly gone, and the streets were full of green debris.

All politics aside, this doesn't seem like normal weather to me.

Summer Reading List

I was just asked to do a segment on ABC 4 next week, talking about my summer reading list. I usually do a challenge like this anyway, but this time I put that list into Goodreads, so I can share it around.

What's really fun about this is that fact that the final for my contemporary literature course is to put together a summer reading list of the five books you want to read, the five books you should read, and the five books you have to read.

I guess it's cool to realize that being ready for this kind of thing is important and isn't just a mental exercise or procrastination, and I now get to walk the talk.  So, without any further ado...

So, what's on your summer reading list. Hit me in the comments.

David Byrne on Mexican Street Art

I refer people to this little essay all the time, so I thought I'd park it somewhere that it can be found. It's from this book, Sensacional! Mexican Street Graphics.

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Bad design is good design. And tasteful good design, likewise, is bad. Not good-bad, just bad-bad. Now that “perfect” design is possible with the click of a mouse, the industrialized world has become nostalgic for “imperfect” design. As computer-aided everything takes over our lives we begin to realize, little by little, what is missing from the high-tech world. We realize that a crooked line sometimes has more soul than a perfectly straight one and that a recording that has just the right amount of distortion is often preferable to a perfect copy. Woe unto us when the medical profession perfects their newest genetic and cloning techniques! We might actually realize that our imperfections are what makes us human.

The easier it becomes to produce perfection, in design, grammar, rhythm, and pitch, the more those who have the earliest and easiest access to that perfection want to abandon it. In a kind of reverse snobbism, Web designers and trendy magazine editors use the latest software programs to imitate the work of anonymous designers and artists. They use high-end computers to imitate the work of people who can’t even afford a computer. These unsung artists are the sources of inspiration for programs such as Photoshop, Illustrator, QuarkXPress, or Pro Tools, but never in their lives have they had access to, or even dreamed of, these tools.

As true perfection appears on the horizon, as the fruits of the enlightenment and of centuries of scientific progress appear within grasp, we take a bite of the perfected tomato or a huge flawless strawberry and realize that something has been lost. Flava. Soul. Humor. Funk.

The nostalgia for design that originates on the streets is a pathetic attempt by sophisticates like myself to recapture that lost soul. We think that by imitating the look of something “real” we might actually become more real ourselves. But for most, the Faustian bargain has already been made. We can never actually be the man or woman who draws the shoes or the tacos on the kiosk walls, but we have certainly learned to appreciate the person who draws them. We can experience that weird but typical 21st-century sensation—loving something and laughing at it at the same time.

In the 19th century, as the technology of photography became more and more ubiquitous, artists quickly abandoned “realistic” portrait and landscape painting in droves. Why compete with a machine that can do it more quickly, easily, and inexpensively than you? In short order, they had to unlearn their drawing lessons and abandon their technique. They learned to draw like a child, like a “primitive.” They wanted to capture the soul, the feeling, the sensation that the camera missed. They made virtual African art, virtual primitive art—basically, high art that looked like it was made by people who didn’t know what they were doing. In time, “good” design became so easy even your software could do it! “Bad” design took soul. Or at least virtual soul. Artists and designers began collecting examples of this “authentic” design as items of inspiration. Little icons. Little shrines to those less schooled than they. Their studio walls would be filled with photographs and clippings of signs and buildings like these. Their own work was good, but this was the “real” thing. Unschooled, uncorrupted, and mostly unpaid.

Sure, it is funny, the clunky layout and the sloppy painting on most of these images, but everyone knows that like these images, a taco on the street tastes better than one from Taco Bell. And there lies the key.

Street tacos actually are better. They feel better and smell better. They are less perfect, less clean (certainly), less high-tech, and there are no groovy advertising campaigns to back them up. But thequesadilla con floresthat one can order (during the right season) on the street, with a coldcerveza, is something that the perfection of a chain can never approach.

Perfection, one must conclude, is not actually perfect at all. In fact, it is almost the complete opposite. Perfection is bad. But bad is good. But bad perfection is not good, only good bad is good. It’s all very simple.

If these works are authentic, real, true, human—what then are the works made using sophisticated software programs, elegantly designed and with beautiful, tasteful graphics? Are they inauthentic because they are well done? Is perfection not also real? Is not the antiseptic globalized world just another kind of real? Isn’t a false thing that everyone believes in then a real thing? And, of course, isn’t it the real that many of these self-taught artists and signmakers aspire to? Aren’t they just dying to be corrupted?

Well, it might all be a matter of semantics, but if one is to assume that “real” infers having some basis in life and living as we know it, then the products of globalization are not, in fact, real. They are cleaned-up versions of those funky kiosks. They are imitations of things that are real—which, in fact, the march of globalization seeks to eradicate. The global wave would wash away all of these originals and leave only their copies. A kind of pod people world.

The new attitude expressed toward crummy artifacts is that they are evidence of the resistance of the real to the unreal. If the unreal at various points and places around the world manages to completely obliterate the real, as it has done in many parts of the industrialized countries, then the real itself will eventually become merely a memory, a quaint story, a picture in a book of something that no longer exists. Colonial Williamsburg, Main Street USA, or Warwick Castle. The real is unreal in many places because it is no longer there.

The faster and greater the spread of globalization, neoliberalism, and multinational corporations, the greater the nostalgia for that which they replace. We must memorialize the anonymous artists because their work is in danger of disappearing. It is beautiful. It reminds us that underneath the slickness and the logos there are still human beings.

Ode to the Black Widow

Back in graduate school, I started writing odes to superheroes. This was about 1998, long before any of this kind of thing was cool. A couple ("Ode to the Human Torch" and "Ode to the Incredible Hulk") were published in Third Coast magazine. Each ode is written using the voice of some non-superhero speaking directly to the hero, sometimes as a fan, but mostly not. I wrote a few more to Wonder Woman, the Silver Surfer, the Flash, Aquaman, and then I kind of set the project aside.

The other day, my old friend Scott Rogers asked for a copy of "Ode to the Human Torch" which is wanted to read at some public event. I pulled that old issue of Third Coast off the shelf and decided that maybe it was time to pick up this project again.

Since this is the opening day of Captain America: The Winter Soldier, I thought I'd return to the project with this movie tie-in.

Ode to the Black Widow

Spiders have the red dot and a wicked 
sheen, lets you know you need to back away
or else. With you there was no warning,
just a storm of black leather
and cinnamon. You clamped your legs around 
Dion's neck, dropped to the floor, and
he was done before you rolled away.

Then you shot Cláudio with his own piece,
your hand wrapped around his. Then somehow suddenly 
you were behind him, using the poor bastard 
as a puppet, a weapon, a shield.

I lost my nerve and dove behind
some old barrels and listened to everyone's 
guns empty out into the shadows, then I 
watched you do things with your body 
that still seem impossible. 

When it was finally quiet, I crawled 
over to Cláudio, got there before he was dead. 
He grabbed me by the hair, told me you 
smelled like a rich lady he robbed once 
in Paris. Said that when you were behind him,
picking off the rest of us, he gave up 
the fight and tried to focus on how your tits 
smashed up against his back. 

He told me how he wished he didn't wear 
a jacket today. "It was warm today, Paulie. 
A t-shirt would have been enough." Then 
he coughed once and pulled me close 
and asked how come we kept on shooting.
He said he was trying to concentrate
on this last slow dance, said he knew he 
was a goner and he hoped that in this last dream 
he'd be the hero, not the thug. He thought 
maybe saving your life would make 
a pretty lady like you fall 
in love with a stooge like him.