The Pattern Continues

It appears that Baby wasn't dead, and Zoë had to finish her off so she would start "singing."


Sadly, it looks like Flatbush the rabbit was in the wrong place at the wrong time. So much violence, I feel like I should blame it on the television. Zoë sits in front of CSI and Law and Order reruns all day long. It must feed her fantasies. But, alas, I must accept some measure of responsibility for this tragic turn of events.

It's frightening that someone who looks like this could have such a dark side.

My Child is a Serial Killer

I have noticed a pattern of behavior in my child. I think she's bumping off all of her "little friends."

The other day I was dusting (come on, I'm a modern guy), and I found Zoë's baby (we're trying to get Zoë to name her Lena -- but "Baby" it is) dumped behind the television. I'm no forensic pathologist, but Baby looks like she got herself clipped.

Whacked Baby

So, I've decided to launch an investigation. I think I see a pattern developing: first Elmo, now Baby. I'm afraid she's going to send Big Bear to sleep with the fishes next, or maybe it'll be Flatbush the Rabbit or Dolly.

I only hope I can stop this madness before anyone else gets hurt.